I'm not into princesses. I'm not hard-core anti-princess, however, and have caved to some requests for Tiana merch. They don't know the stories, but have managed to absorb enough info from the omnipresent fairy-tale machine to point out Belle, Ariel, Cinderella, and Tiana when they see them. They love them. They waive wands at each other and then say "ooooohhhh, now you're a beautiful princess dress."
Fairies, I know nothing about. Nothing. I've seen some Disney stuff with a Black fairy on it but I don't know who she is or what her story is. My kids don't know the difference between a fairy and a princess and until I figure out what the deal is with fairies - I'm not bringing it up.
On Saturday, I took them to this. I must have seen a hundred little girls dressed up as fairies but not ONE other fairy with brown skin. Not one.
Ruth & Aster undoubtedly noticed but didn't mention it. And they loved it. We had a fantastic day. And it turns out, I think I like fairy houses. I think it would be fun to make them and make the trip back in future years.
But I kept thinking about walking into an Ethiopian church earlier this month, when Ruth said to me,
Mama you stay out here. No white skin allowed in church.
Ruthie, that's not true. People in church love all colors of skin.
Some people don't like white skin.
She didn't give me an answer as to why she thinks that. I am usually one of two ferenji there. I have been very warmly welcomed there, and have made some lovely friends. But I know that some others are not impressed with Ethiopian adoption, or with how un-Habesha my children are being raised. Or maybe just with me. It would not surprise me if she picked up on any of those sentiments.
Or maybe she just didn't want to be different from all the kids there with matching parents.
Or does she think that there are no white people because the people there simply don't like white-skin? If that's true, then does she assume that when we go some place where there are no other brown-skinned people, its because the people there don't like brown skin?
These were my thoughts as I looked and looked and couldn't find any other Black fairies in the sea of wings and wands.
9 comments:
Looks like a fun event - just wish there were more brown kids there. What an interesting thing Ruthie said. I wonder where it came from...What ET church do you go to? I would love to join you one day if you don't mind!
I should probably not comment here and just write my own blog post. Manny has attended a Waldorf pre-school and also many related camps...etc. Just this year, he finally got into the idea that fairies live in houses in the woods. I love fairie houses and that whole Waldorfian belief around it. The princess thing, not so much. As for going to events that are very white, I feel that way about 4H. Something I love, but sooooo white. I wish it wasn't. Your girls, they are beautiful fairies.
Oh I wish there were more brown fairies too. And next year there will be--you me and our girls.
The brown fairy's name is Iridessa (sp?), she's a light fairy and makes rainbows, amont other things. The Tinkerbell movies are actually pretty diverse, we own all three of them if you ever want to borrow them.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately too...I am not much of a "group" person, but I've been starting to feel like I should call and invite a few families like ours any time I want to take Elfe to an activity outside the city so she won't be the only brown child there.
Yeah to this. I keep getting shit about my kid looking like a girl with cornrows except when we are in Boston. Black people always know he's a boy and there are a ton of boys with braids. I am tired of this nonsense.
Interesting conclusions that your girls make. I wonder how many conclusions like that our kids make without our knowing it! Hard to know whether to talk about things before they encounter them or just to be a sounding board for them afterwards. Disney could not possibly create more beautiful fairies - brown or "pink" (as A calls me) - than your girls.
There are just as many brown fairies as there are pink fairies... but not everyone is lucy enough to see them! you're helping to open people's eyes.
Children are born with their eyes open... and we need to be careful not to close them.
Yeah, too many white fairies, princesses, and everything else. I have recently had one person openly dislike me because of my race and all that goes along with that (or, like you said, maybe it was just ME....). Kids pick up on it. Smart and super perceptive little girls you have.
There's a good story book about the Not Enough Brown Princesses Problem (NEBPP?)--a subject we've talked about a lot at our house, even though we seem to be moving into the potentially even worse "movie star" phase these days. The book is Princess Grace by Mary Hoffman. Personally I go more for fairies than princesses because the scope for creativity and invention is so much greater. They can be green or lavender, which makes for a nice change!
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